heaven

days off are so very good for the soul. especially when you have wonderful friends to share them with. there is this place on long island that is the most amazing thing ever. welwyn. i love it there. i climbed fifty thousand miles of scary rocks and panicked the whole way (see photos) but i finally landed at the Far Away Gazebo and it was splendid out there near the sky. when i think about taxes and bills and college loans, i want to run away and live in the Greenhouse that People Forgot and which grew over wildlife-style so there are trees in doorways and wisteria hanging down the walls. it feels like the Secret Garden in there, like you are Mary, discovering. Or Colin, remembering how to walk.

ah, home.

this is what lil does when i've been spending too much time making pretty things and not enough time worshipping at the altar of her gorgeousness. right in the middle of the 12x12 paper, too, see how nicely it curves up to make a nest for her pretty little self? um, yeah.

so i have been watching a documentary about jonathan larson's life. you know, the guy who wrote Rent? he died the night before opening night, and on this documentary people keep talking abut how when he died suddenly we lost this great talent who was destined to create so many more amazing works but i think he was here for exactly what he was here for- he was an angel on a mission, if you will. he was here to give the world that gift and to see it brought to fruition, and as soon as he had completed that mission he went home. he was inspiration itself- the man worked on his art constantly, literally. worked exactly as many hours as would pay the rent and spent the rest of his time creating. the urgency he felt about creation resonates with me and i am remembering what i loved about being in the theatre. and how i can continue to do what he was doing, doing this thing that is my own thing. i've been thinking about missions, and history, and art. i've been marveling how this torch gets passed sideways and backwards and all kinds of random ways in this community. and i have been inspired to be inspired. and i have been reading francesca lia block, toni morrison and giving myself time to breathe. been writing in little books again. had a much-needed lunch with an old friend. went to three different bookstores to see where my book was displayed. traveled four hours round trip to walk down my favorite street. been thinking through a book i want to make with my sisters. spent two hours in a field on monday, stalking a family of wild bunny rabbits and taking their photos. communed with trees and had a good chat with a best friend. it's truly wild- there are so many things gone awry every single day- so many aspects of life at which i am completely incompetent- but most days, even the shitty ones, i really really love my life.

springtime

oh, it's been the busiest of times... i'm enjoying springtime- my apartment is full of fresh flowers (from the lilac bush outside, roses from my grandma and a gorgeous bouquet from my customers debbie and rebecca from when my book came out) and getting lots of work done for classes and things. i've been wearing birks every day, which for me means summer is here and real shoes can be put away til november or so. so scrap city came out, which is the book with ym work in it. and the book is awesome and we held a celebration and book-signing at my store last saturday and it was f-ing fantastic. paul, the author, came out, as well as odette dillon and her band, bettie after midnght. we sold tons of books and signed scads of them (and gave away a few copies too) and just generally had a grand old time! it was a splendid day and i'm looking forward to the book release party at madame x's, at the end of june.
there are things i'm missing, things i'm thinking about... i miss my sisters and wish there was a way to see them more often... i spent the other day in the city and i cried walking down 6th ave, because i jsut miss it so f-ing much. i've been thinking about the lizards in aruba. the colors i saw there. the desert leading up to the ocean and dropping off into cliffs.
i'm making some good things lately, and writing a lot, and feeling like something good is building. gonna ride this wave and see where it takes me.